DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY (DBT)

Maybe you feel your emotions intensely.

When you're upset, you're really upset.

When you're hurt, it can feel overwhelming.

When you're angry, it can be difficult to slow down.

When you're anxious, your mind can take over.

And when something happens in a relationship, you may find yourself reacting before you have time to think.

You may later wonder:

"Why did I react like that?"

"Why couldn't I just calm down?"

"Why did I say that?"

"Why do I keep doing this?"

DBT offers a different way forward.

It doesn't ask you to stop having strong emotions.

It teaches you how to understand them, tolerate them, regulate them, and respond to them differently.

That is the heart of the dialectic.

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy is an evidence-based approach that combines acceptance and change.

It recognizes that both can be true at the same time:

You are doing the best you can.

And you may need to learn new skills.

Your feelings make sense.

And your feelings don't have to determine your actions.

You can accept yourself.

And still want to grow.

DBT was originally developed to support people experiencing significant emotional and behavioural difficulties and has since been adapted for a range of concerns.

At Burch Counselling and Consultation, DBT-informed strategies can be integrated into individualized therapy based on your needs.

You may experience emotions that seem to arrive quickly and intensely.

A small disagreement becomes overwhelming.

A disappointing message ruins your entire day.

Someone's tone changes and you immediately feel rejected.

You become angry and can't seem to come back down.

You feel anxious and want to escape.

Or you feel so overwhelmed that you shut down completely.

You may have been told:

"You're too sensitive."

"You're overreacting."

"Calm down."

But being told to calm down doesn't teach you how.

DBT focuses on building the skills that help you move through intense emotions without allowing them to completely take over.

DBT doesn't teach you to get rid of emotions.

Emotions provide information.

Fear can tell you something feels unsafe.

Anger can tell you a boundary has been crossed.

Sadness can signal loss.

Guilt can make you examine your actions.

Joy can tell you something matters.

The goal isn't:

"Don't feel."

It's:

"Feel—and learn what to do with what you're feeling."

You can experience an emotion without immediately acting from it.

DBT is built around four major areas of skill development:

1. Mindfulness

Learning to notice what is happening without immediately reacting.

2. Distress Tolerance

Learning how to survive difficult moments without making the situation worse.

3. Emotion Regulation

Understanding emotions and developing strategies to manage their intensity.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

Learning how to communicate, set boundaries, ask for what you need, and maintain relationships while respecting yourself.

Together, these skills can create more space between what happens and what you do next.

Maybe you've spent years trying to change yourself.

Be less emotional.

Stop overthinking.

Stop caring so much.

Be stronger.

Get over it.

DBT offers another possibility:

You can acknowledge:

"This is hard."

while also saying:

"I'm going to learn how to handle it differently."

You can say:

"My feelings make sense."

and:

"My behaviour is still my responsibility."

You can say:

"I have been through a lot."

and:

"I am still capable of building something different."

DBT-informed therapy may support concerns including:

• Emotional dysregulation 
• Anxiety 
• Panic 
• Depression 
• Relationship difficulties 
• Conflict 
• Boundaries 
• People-pleasing 
• Self-worth 
• Impulsivity 
• Distress tolerance 
• Anger 
• Emotional overwhelm 
• Trauma-related responses 
• Difficulty managing intense emotions 
• Repeated behavioural patterns 
• Difficulty communicating needs 
• Difficulty tolerating rejection or uncertainty

The goal of therapy isn't to become dependent on your therapist to help you regulate.

It's to develop skills you can take into your everyday life.

When your partner is upset.

When your boss sends an unexpected email.

When your teenager is struggling.

When you feel rejected.

When anxiety takes over.

When you're angry.

When you want to react immediately.

You can begin to recognize:

What's happening?

What am I feeling?

What do I need?

What is my urge telling me to do?

Will acting on that urge move me toward or away from the life I want?

What is DBT?

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy is an evidence-based therapeutic approach that focuses on four core areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

Does DBT mean I have a diagnosis?

No. DBT skills can be useful for many people experiencing emotional overwhelm, relationship difficulties, anxiety, distress, or difficulty regulating emotions. You do not need a particular diagnosis to learn DBT-informed skills.

Is DBT only for people with borderline personality disorder?

No. Although DBT was originally developed for people experiencing significant emotional and behavioural difficulties, DBT skills are now used more broadly to support emotional regulation, distress tolerance, relationships, and coping.

Will DBT make me less emotional?

No. The goal isn't to make you less emotional. It is to help you understand and regulate emotions so they don't automatically control your behaviour.

Can DBT help with boundaries?

Yes. Interpersonal effectiveness skills can help you communicate needs, set boundaries, maintain self-respect, and navigate difficult conversations.

Can DBT help with anxiety?

DBT skills can help with mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and managing the urge to react to anxiety.

Can DBT help with trauma?

DBT-informed skills can complement trauma-informed therapy by building emotional regulation and distress-tolerance skills. Trauma processing, when appropriate, may involve other specialized approaches as well.

Is DBT the same as a full DBT program?

Not necessarily. Comprehensive DBT programs can include individual therapy, skills training groups, phone coaching, and therapist consultation. At Burch Counselling and Consultation, DBT skills and principles may be incorporated into individualized therapy based on your needs.

Do I have to practice skills between sessions?

Practice is encouraged because the goal is to make skills useful in real life. Exercises are individualized and designed to help you apply what you're learning outside the therapy room.

Do I need a referral?

No. You can contact Burch Counselling & Consultation directly.

Do you offer virtual DBT-informed therapy?

Yes. DBT-informed individual therapy can be provided virtually throughout Ontario, Canada, and worldwide when clinically appropriate.

For more frquently asked questions, visit our FAQ page.