ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT)

Sometimes the hardest part of anxiety, trauma, depression, or emotional pain isn't only the feeling itself.

It's the battle you have with the feeling.

"I shouldn't feel this way."

"I need to stop thinking about this."

"Why can't I just get over it?"

"I can't move forward until I feel better."

You may spend enormous amounts of energy trying to control your thoughts, avoid uncomfortable feelings, make uncertainty disappear, or wait until you feel confident enough to take the next step.

And in the process, your life can become smaller.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers another way.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, commonly called ACT, is a therapeutic approach that helps you develop greater psychological flexibility.

Psychological flexibility means being able to:

• Notice what you're experiencing
• Make room for difficult emotions 
• Step back from unhelpful thoughts 
• Connect with what matters to you 
• Make intentional choices 
• Take meaningful action—even when discomfort is present 

ACT isn't about accepting that your life has to stay the way it is.

It isn't about giving up.

And it isn't about pretending everything is okay.

Maybe you avoid certain situations because they make you anxious.

You don't speak up because you're afraid of conflict.

You don't leave because you're afraid of being alone.

You don't apply for the opportunity because you're afraid of failing.

You don't rest because you feel guilty.

You don't date because you don't want to get hurt again.

You don't set the boundary because you can't tolerate someone being disappointed in you.

Avoidance can provide immediate relief.

But over time, it can become a trap.

ACT helps you explore:

"What is this avoidance costing me?"

And:

"What would I move toward if fear wasn't making all of my decisions?"

If you've experienced trauma, betrayal, abuse, loss, or profound disappointment, acceptance does not mean saying:

"What happened was okay."

It wasn't.

Acceptance doesn't mean approving of what happened.

It means acknowledging:

This happened.

I cannot change the past.

I can choose what I do with my life now.

That distinction can be incredibly important.

You don't have to spend the rest of your life fighting the fact that something happened.

You can begin deciding what happens next.

Our minds are constantly generating thoughts.

Some are helpful.

Some are protective.

Some are based on old experiences.

Some are assumptions.

Some are fears.

Some are simply mental noise.

You may think:

"I'm going to fail."

"They don't like me."

"Something bad is going to happen."

"I'm not good enough."

"I can't handle this."

ACT doesn't require you to argue with every thought.

Instead, you can learn to notice the thought as a thought.

Instead of:

"I'm going to fail."

You might notice:

"I'm having the thought that I'm going to fail."

That small change creates distance.

You don't have to obey every thought your mind produces.

 ACT calls this process cognitive defusion.

It means creating space between yourself and your thoughts.

Instead of becoming completely fused with:

"I'm not good enough."

you can notice:

"I'm noticing the thought that I'm not good enough."

Instead of:

"Nobody will ever love me."

you can notice:

"My mind is telling me that nobody will ever love me."

The thought can still be there.

But it doesn't have to be in the driver's seat.

Your brain is designed to identify problems.

It scans for threats.

It remembers painful experiences.

It predicts what could go wrong.

It tries to keep you safe.

That can be incredibly useful.

But sometimes the mind becomes overprotective.

It tells you:

Don't trust them.

Don't take the risk.

Don't speak up.

Don't leave.

Don't try.

Stay small.

Stay in control.

ACT doesn't require you to silence your mind.

A significant part of psychological flexibility is learning to distinguish between:

What you can control

Your actions.

Your choices.

Your boundaries.

How you communicate.

Where you put your energy.

How you respond.

What you cannot control

Other people's opinions.

Other people's emotions.

The past.

Uncertainty.

Whether someone chooses you.

Whether everyone understands you.

Whether life always goes according to plan.

So much emotional exhaustion comes from trying to control things that were never ours to control.

ACT can help you redirect your energy.

Maybe the anxiety will still show up.

Maybe the doubts will still show up.

Maybe difficult emotions will still show up.

That doesn't mean you can't live.

Your mind may always have something to say.

The question becomes:

Who gets to decide where your life goes?

Your fear?

Your anxiety?

Your past?

Or you?

Burch Counselling and Consultation — Hope and healing starts here.

 What is ACT?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is an evidence-based approach that helps people develop psychological flexibility by learning to relate differently to difficult thoughts and emotions while taking meaningful action based on their values.

Does ACT mean I have to accept everything?

No. Acceptance does not mean approval, giving up, or tolerating harmful situations. It means acknowledging what is happening rather than exhausting yourself fighting against something you cannot change.

Will ACT make my anxiety go away?

The goal isn't necessarily to eliminate anxiety. ACT helps you develop the ability to experience anxiety without allowing it to control your choices.

What is psychological flexibility?

Psychological flexibility is the ability to remain present, make room for difficult internal experiences, and choose actions that align with your values.

What does "cognitive defusion" mean?

Cognitive defusion means creating space between yourself and your thoughts. Instead of automatically treating a thought as a fact, you learn to notice it as a mental event.

What are values in ACT?

Values are the qualities and principles you want to bring into your life—such as connection, courage, honesty, growth, compassion, or authenticity. They act as a direction rather than a destination.

Can ACT help with trauma?

ACT-informed strategies can complement trauma-informed therapy by helping you develop psychological flexibility, reduce avoidance, and reconnect with meaningful parts of life. Trauma work is always approached at an appropriate pace.

Can ACT help with relationships?

Yes. ACT can help you identify relationship patterns, clarify what matters to you, tolerate difficult emotions, communicate according to your values, and develop healthier boundaries.

Is ACT the same as mindfulness?

No, but mindfulness is an important component of ACT. ACT uses mindfulness alongside acceptance, cognitive defusion, values, and committed action.

Do you only use ACT?

No. ACT can be integrated with other approaches including CBT, Somatic Therapy, Mindfulness, DBT-informed strategies, IFS-informed therapy, Brainspotting, trauma-informed therapy, and nervous-system regulation.

Do I need a referral?

No. You can contact Burch Counselling & Consultation directly.

Do you offer virtual ACT therapy?

Yes. ACT-informed therapy can be offered virtually throughout Ontario, Canada, and worldwide when clinically appropriate.

For more frequently asked questions, visit our FAQ page.